Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Hachiko - A Loyal Dog

Hachiko

Each year on April 8th at a solemn ceremony in Tokyo's Shibuya railroad station, hundreds of dog lovers do homage to the loyalty and devotion of an Akita dog, Hachiko, faithful pet of Dr. Eisaburo Ueno, a professor at Tokyo University.

Hachiko was born in Odate, Japan in November 1923, a white male Akita dog. At the age of two months, he was sent to the home of Professor Ueno of the Agricultural Department of the Tokyo University. The professor's home was in the Shibuya district of Tokyo. The professor commuted to the agricultural department in Komaba and the agricultural experimental station in Nishihara.

Tragedy struck on May 21, 1925, when Dr. Ueno did not return because he had suffered a stroke and died at the university. Hachiko was eighteen months old. The next day and for the next nine years, Hachiko returned to the station and waited for his beloved master before walking home, alone. Nothing and no one could discourage Hachiko from maintaining his nightly vigil. It was not until he followed his master in death, in March l934, that Hachiko failed to appear in his place at the railroad station.

Hachiko was sent to homes of relatives or friends, but he always continued to await his master, who was never to return, at the train station.

The fidelity of Hachiko was known throughout Japan, owing to an article, "Faithful Old Dog Awaits Return of Master Dead for Seven Years" in the October 4, 1933 issue of Aashi Shinbun (Asahi News). Upon his death, newspaper stories led to the suggestion that a statue be erected in the station. Contributions the from the United States and other countries were received. Today, the statue of the Akita, Hachiko, pays silent tribute to the breed's faithfulness and loyalty. A bronze statue of Hachiko was put up at his waiting spot outside the Shibuya railroad station, which is now probably the most popular rendezvous point in Shibuya. Hachiko was mounted and stuffed and is on now on display at the Tokyo Museum of Art.

Facing The Failure

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them". George Bernard Shaw

Pepatah bijak mengatakan bahwa kegagalan adalah proses belajar yang harus dilalui. Tanpa adanya kegagalan, yang namanya keberhasilan tidak akan pernah diketemukan. Thomas Alfa Edison adalah contoh yang nyata. Setelah ribuan kali mengalami kegagalan untuk menemukan listrik, akhirnya beliau berhasil. Pemenang sejati adalah pemenang yang mampu mentoleransi kegagalan yang dialami serta berjuang untuk meraih keberhasilan dan bukannya menyerah pada keadaan. Disamping itu, keberhasilan akan diraih jika seseorang berani mengambil resiko dan tidak takut akan kehilangan / kegagalan. "Failures are divided into two classes - those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought" John Charles Salak.

MENGHADAPI KEGAGALAN

Sadarilah bahwa :

1. Kegagalan adalah suatu proses pembelajaran. Seyogianya, reaksi yang timbul dikala gagal, bukanlah menyalahkan orang - orang lain tetapi adalah diri sendiri melalui introspeksi. Metode ini, akan menimbulkan :

Keinginan yang mendalam untuk mengetahui "mengapa" kegagalan ini terjadi. Setelah diketahui penyebabnya maka dicari solusi agar kegagalan ini tidak sampai terjadi lagi. "It is wise to keep in mind that no success or failure is necessarily final" Anonymous

Standard baku sebagai acuan dasar agar dimasa mendatang, kegagalan bisa diminimalkan atau tidak sampai terjadi lagi. "In order to succeed, you must first be willing to fail" Anonymous

Sukses sebagai hasil dari mau / berani menghadapi kegagalan dengan analisa / evaluasi dan memperbaikinya. "Success is not permanent. The same is also true of failure" Dell Crossword

Secara tidak langsung, kegagalan juga mengajarkan kepada kita bahwa jalur yang dilalui adalah jalur yang salah. Semua, tergantung kepada diri kita, mau menyerah atau maju terus. Jika menyerah berarti sampai kapanpun juga yang namanya keberhasilan "hanya" akan merupakan angan - angan tidak akan pernah ter - realisirkan. "Yesterday's failures are today's seeds. That must be diligently planted to be able to abundantly harvest Tomorrow's success" Anonymous

2. Kegagalan adalah salah satu langkah menuju kesuksesan. Tanpa dialaminya kegagalan, seseorang akan sulit untuk menentukan langkah selanjutnya. Dengan adanya kegagalan, seseorang akan tahu pasti bahwa jalur ini dibenarkan sedangkan jalur itu tidak dibenarkan (karena telah pernah gagal). Apakah suatu kegagalan akan selalu berkonotasi negatif atau tidak, sangatlah ditentukan oleh sikap kita dikala menghadapinya. Jika dihadapi dengan sikap potitif maka konotasinya akan menjadi positif karena adanya perbaikan dan begitu pula sebaliknya. "Your failures won't hurt you until you start blaming them on others" Anonymous.

3. Kegagalan bukanlah berarti akhir dari segala - galanya. Dengan dialaminya kegagalan, biasanya akan membuat seseorang semakin dewasa serta waspada / mawas diri. Setiap langkah atau tindakan akan di "filter" berkali - kali agar tidak terjadi hal - hal yang tidak diinginkan. "Keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final" Roger Ward BaBson

Kesimpulan :

Kegagalan bukanlah suatu hal yang ditakuti atau dihindari tetapi harus dihadapi. Melalui kegagalan, akan diketemukan apa yang namanya sukses. Jangan menyerah dan pasrah, itulah kunci utama untuk menghadapi kegagalan. "When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us" Alexander Graham Bell.

What Should I Do to Marry a Rich Guy ?

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here.
I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste.
I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.
You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?
Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.
If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden (?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty
----------

Here's a reply from a Wall Street Finance Specialist:

Dear Ms. Pretty,
I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours.

Please allow me to analyze your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than 500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I am not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just a normal depreciation, but an exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value drop we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for a long term. Same goes with the marriage that you wanted.

It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision, any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me.

Signed,

J.P. Morgan

Female Friends


Dear my Friends....


SAHABAT WANITA
Pada suatu hari, seorang wanita muda yang baru saja menikah mengunjungi ibunya. Mereka duduk di sebuah sofa dan menikmati segelas air teh dingin.

Ketika mereka sedang berbincang-bincang mengenai kehidupan, pernikahan, tanggung jawab dalam hidup serta kewajiban, sang ibu dengan perlahan menaruh sebongkah es batu ke dalam gelasnya dan menatap wajah anak perempuannya.

"Jangan lupakan sahabat-sahabat wanitamu." nasihatnya, sambil mengaduk-ngaduk daun teh di bawah gelasnya.

"Mereka akan menjadi orang yang penting bagimu ketika usiamu makin tua.
Tidak peduli seberapa dalam kau mencintai suamimu, seberapa banyak anak-anak yang kau miliki, kau masih tetap harus memiliki sahabat wanita.

Ingatlah untuk berjalan-jalan bersama mereka, melakukan hal bersama-sama dengan mereka.

Dan ingat bahwa mereka bukan hanya sekedar sahabat wanitamu, tetapi mereka akan menjadi saudara, anak dan yang lainnya.

Kau akan membutuhkan sosok wanita yang lain. Wanita selalu begitu."

"Sungguh nasihat yang aneh," pikir si wanita muda.

"Bukankah aku baru saja menikah?
Bukankah aku baru saja bergabung dalam dunia pasangan-pasangan muda?
Sekarang saya adalah seorang istri, orang dewasa,bukan anak perempuan kecil yang memerlukan teman main perempuan lainnya! Tentu saja keluarga yang akan kami bina dapat membuat hidup saya lebih berarti."

Tetapi, ia mendengarkan nasihat ibunya; ia terus berhubungan dengan
sahabat-sahabat wanitanya dan bertemu dengan semakin banyak
sahabat setiap tahun.

Ketika tahun demi tahun berlalu, ia mulai merasakan betapa benar nasihat yang diberikan ibunya.

Ketika waktu dan keadaan mengubah keberadaan mereka sebagai wanita dengan segala misterinya, sahabat-sahabat wanitanya tetap berada dalam kehidupannya.

Setelah hidup selama 50 tahun dalam dunia ini, inilah fakta-fakta yang
saya dapatkan dari memiliki sahabat wanita:

Sahabat wanita akan menjaga rahasiamu.
Sahabat wanita akan memberikan nasihat ketika kau membutuhkannya.
Sahabat wanita tidak selalu mengatakan apa yang kau lakukan benar, tetapi mereka bersikap jujur.
Sahabat wanita akan terus mengasihimu, meskipun ada perbedaan pendapat.
Sahabat wanita akan tertawa bersama-sama denganmu, dan lelucon kosong
sama sekali tidak diperlukan hanya untuk sebuah tawa.
Sahabat wanita akan menolongmu keluar dari hubungan-hubungan yang buruk.
Sahabat wanita menolongmu mencarikan rumah tinggal yang baru, membantu mengepak barang dan pindah.
Sahabat wanita akan membantu membuat sebuah pesta untuk anak-anakmu ketika mereka menikah atau memiliki anak, manapun yang lebih dulu terjadi.
Sahabat wanita akan selalu berada di sampingmu, dalam suka maupun duka.
Sahabat wanita akan menempuh badai, topan, panas, dan kegelapan untuk mengeluarkan kau dari keputusasaan.
Sahabat wanita akan mendengarkan ketika kau kehilangan pekerjaan atau seorang kawan.
Sahabat wanita akan mendengarkan ketika anak-anakmu mengecewakanmu.
Sahabat wanita akan menangis bersamamu ketika orang yang dikasihimu meninggal.
Sahabat wanita menghiburmu ketika kau dikecewakan oleh banyak pria di dalam kehidupanmu.
Sahabat wanita membantumu untuk bangkit kembali ketika pria kau cintai pergi meninggalkanmu.
Sahabat wanita senang ketika mereka melihatmu bahagia, dan bersedia mencari
dan melemparkan apa yang tidak membuatmu bahagia.

Waktu berlalu...Kehidupan berjalan.
Jarak memisahkan.. .Anak-anak beranjak dewasa..
Cinta hilang dan pergi..Hati yang hancur..
Karir berakhir..Pekerjaan berganti..
Orang tua meninggal..Rekan- rekan melupakan kebaikan..
TETAPI, sahabat-sahabat wanita akan terus mendampinginmu,
meskipun waktu dan jarak yang terpaut sangat jauh. Sahabat wanita tidak akan lebih jauh dari orang-orang yang membutuhkan.

TERIMA KASIH SAHABAT



Friday, December 26, 2008

HI! Goobye!

Hi! Goodbye! Dec 15, '08 6:45 PM
...written by Darmawan, repost in Multiply by Ade Unay & now repost by me.
for everyone


Tonight,
I remember you, some of you.
names.. faces..
as we used to be close,
friends, or just acquainted.

Tonight,
you're mostly gone,
away,
somewhere.
before the others.
before the present.

should you all be gone someday,
oneday.
and just be a memory.

Will you remember me.
will you miss me.
or will you.. just gone away.

will you?

just a part of yesterday.
'till i remember you..

again.

if i do.

(untukmu yang hilang, atau yang akan hilang)


My piece:
GOOD BYE may be the words to say eventually in every relationship, but memories of its existence will always be there one way or another, bad or good ones. So, make a good one while it lasts and treasure it for lifetime...

to ALL my "RARE" good friends....
Thanks for your friendship and forgive me for being such a difficult friend.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

The heroic Englishman China will never forget

From
March 9, 2008

Our writer reveals the untold story of a Brit in China who risked his life to save a group of schoolboys from the invading Japanese troops

In the spring of last year in a crowded Beijing restaurant a 75-year-old Chinese man rose to his feet and silenced his fellow diners with a song he had learnt as a child: “Three blind mice, three blind mice, See how they run, see how they run . . .”

Nie Guang Han and the other elderly Chinese guests had gathered to share their memories of the young Englishman who had taught them to sing nursery rhymes and to whom they owed their lives. His name was George Aylwin Hogg, and in a few brief years at the height of the Sino-Japanese war in the 1940s, he achieved legendary status. Although unknown in his own homeland, he remains well loved and remembered in China.

It was in Beijing in 1984 that I first came across his story. In the British embassy club I overheard a diplomat complain that he had to fly to Shandan in the remote northwest because the Chinese authorities had erected the bust of an Englishman there. Strange things were happening at the time. Deng Xiaoping had begun the economic liberalisation that set China on the path to today’s market economy. Businessmen were arriving with every flight. Nevertheless, the idea that China would honour an unknown Englishman seemed preposterous.

It turned out to be true. Some 80 elderly gentlemen gathered in Shandan with VIPs from Beijing to mark the reopening of a school and reconstruction of a tomb desecrated during the cultural revolution. Flowers were laid. A statue was unveiled. Old men shed tears.

The man whose memory was being honoured was the youngest child in a prosperous family in Harpenden, Hertfordshire. Strongly influenced by his mother’s Quaker pacifist philosophy, he had been brought up to think the best of people and to do his best for them. After graduating from Wad-ham College, Oxford, he set out to meet Gandhi in India with his aunt, Muriel Lester, a well-known pacifist. On the way, however, he visited China – and stayed.

China had been in chaos since the 1920s when the struggle had begun between the nationalist government of Chiang Kai-shek and the Communist party. It had been easy prey for Japan’s war-minded army officers. From the start of the 1930s Japanese troops had advanced into northern China and gradually encroached further south. By the time Hogg arrived in 1937 the nationalists and communists were in an uncomfortable alliance fighting the invaders.

Hogg initially made a living as a journalist. He witnessed repeated atrocities inflicted upon defenceless civilians. Yet his letters home are coloured by a belief in the essential benevolence of humanity and a refusal to be downcast by evidence to the contrary. This led him to work for the Chinese industrial cooperatives movement (CIC), which employed refugees and war orphans to provide basic materials for both nationalist and communist forces. Initially, he was publicity director or “ocean secretary” – “ocean” in Mandarin denotes anything foreign – but in 1942 he became headmaster of a CIC school in the remote mountain town of Shuang-shipu.

Here, at the crossroads of the Tsin-gling mountains in Shanxi province, he found his destiny.

At 27, Hogg was the head of a school that, even by the chaotic standards of China at that time, presented huge problems. Three brick classrooms stood on a steep and bleak hillside. There had been seven headmasters in 18 months. There were no books or writing materials. The kitchen was bare. There were no beds. The boys were covered in scabies, malnourished and lice-infested.

The first step was to find somewhere for the children to sleep and food for them to eat. Hogg borrowed a few local coop workers and turned a neighbouring cottage into a dormitory. He established credit in the town and managed to buy millet and vegetables. Mud walls were built around the classrooms and dormitory to create a compound. Vegetable gardens and basketball courts were laid out.

It was as if everything Hogg had experienced before had prepared him for the task of disciplining, schooling and nurturing a group of unruly Chinese war orphans. He sang with them, swam in the river with them, played sport with them and walked in the mountains with them. They called him Ho Ke. He organised them along lines that would be recognised in any English public school. The boys were split into three teams. Each elected a captain, who was responsible for looking after his team. Discipline was enforced by praising those who dressed smartly or had done well at their lessons and by making it clear to malefactors that failure to fall in with the new regime would result in the school returning to anarchy.

Funds for the school were allocated by the CIC, but, occasionally, Hogg had to ride his bicycle 60 miles over the Qinling mountain pass down into the city of Baoji to plead and argue for his money at CIC regional headquarters. He was able to do the round trip in a day by hanging on to the back of lorries. The return journey was always by night. Twice, he outpaced bandits on his bike.

Local nationalist military commanders were suspicious of Hogg, particularly when he resisted their efforts to recruit his pupils into the army to fight the Japanese. He was arrested for a week, and by late 1944, the pressure was becoming unbearable. Soldiers ransacked classrooms searching for boys to conscript. A teacher was arrested. On a cold afternoon, one of the boys saw Hogg climbing the mountain above the school, and followed him. At the summit he found his headmaster seated on a rock, looking down at the school and crying.

With misgivings Hogg decided to move the school to the safety of Shandan, a town 700 miles away on the edge of the Gobi desert. The boys would have to cross a mountain range on foot. Some argued it was too far – a journey to the edge of the world.

The plan was to leave without the local garrison noticing. An advance party of 33 boys set off over the mountains in November. The departure of the rest of the boys would be more complicated. Hogg was obsessed with the school’s rare cotton-milling machine, one of only three in the whole of northwest China. Although it weighed more than two tons he was determined to take it to Shandan. A joke went round the school that he would happily leave a few boys behind but never his machine.

His old boys remember his desperate search for a truck of any kind, as heavy snowfalls in the mountains made the need for motorised transport more urgent. This was bandit season, when slow-moving convoys in bad weather were likely to be ambushed. Heavily armed gangs might be attracted by the prospect of hijacking valuable machinery.

On or around January 20 a convoy of five large carts drawn by a mix of mules and horses, one lorry, 30 boys, three staff and the headmaster left Shuangshipu before daybreak and headed into the hills. The smallest children sheltered under a tarpaulin slung over the cargo. The others walked. The higher they got, the heavier the snow fell. It was the coldest winter for 20 years. The road became little more than a mud and gravel track as it rose towards 10,000 feet.

The first day the weather and terrain secured them from pursuit. On the second night one or two of the older boys turned back, leaving Hogg with a group of 27 plus his precious equipment. One cart toppled into a ravine, taking its horse and load of equipment with it. Boys walking beside it jumped clear just in time. Another cart overturned but was righted again and its cargo saved.

It took almost a month to reach the regional capital, Lanzhou, and there were 250 more miles to go over high terrain to Shandan. Fortunately, a local official allowed Hogg to hire six vintage Mercedes diesel trucks.

Sometime in February the headmaster, his boys and their equipment drove into the foothills of the Qilian mountains. The lorries slipped and slithered through ice and snow. Wind-screens cracked, tyres burst. Vehicles had to be hauled back onto the road.

The convoy passed the western end of the Great Wall – not the majestic stone wall of northern China but a humble mud rampart 30ft high. Sand-storms and human activity had taken their toll. Around March 10 the headmaster and his exhausted boys reached Shandan. They drove down streets caked in ice and mud and lined by double-storeyed wooden buildings. Most were empty.

The advance party had camped out in a ruined temple. About 60 boys now gathered there to rebuild their school and their lives. Nie Guang Pei, then aged six, recalls: “We were all very tired when we arrived and we were very disappointed – there was nothing in the temple, hardly even a roof. It was filthy.”

Hogg fitted out workshops, classrooms and dormitories. He was in his element. He had turned 30 in the mountains, and he now knew the answer to the question he had often asked himself: What was he doing in China? He had created a school from the chaos of war. He had moved it against the odds to the rim of the Gobi desert. He had rebuilt it as a refuge and place of safety for some 60 pupils.

His old boys remember his extraordinary energy and rollicking high spirits. Fan Wenhai said: “Remember that in our society the man who was the head of the family, or of the school or of the company where you worked, was a figure of awe. You respected them sometimes because you were afraid of them. Hogg was so different. He spent so much time with us, and it didn’t matter whether he was singing with us, playing sport with us or working in the classroom. He was always with us. That was very different. That was why we loved him so much.”

Sometime in the second week of July Hogg was playing basketball with his boys. Wearing his usual open-toed sandals, he stubbed and cut his toe. A few days later, it became sore and swollen. His jaw began to hurt and stiffen. The next day he had a high fever, and spasms shook his entire body. It was clear that he had tetanus. Telegrams were sent to Lanzhou asking for a doctor and serum. Two boys set off by motorbike on the 500-mile round trip.

For three days Hogg suffered the agonies of a disease that always ends in a cruel death if untreated. The victim remains conscious but unable to speak due to the tightening of facial muscles – hence the name lockjaw.

“He lay on his back and was too weak to move,” said Fan Wenhei. “I turned him over with help from another boy. He was dripping with sweat from his chin to his forehead. Sometimes he would ask for water in a very weak voice. First, I could feed him by spoon, but after a while his mouth would not open. I had to hold his lower jaw and pour water through gaps between his teeth.”

Serum was finally found in Lanzhou. But the rescue party were unable to cross a high mountain pass by night. When they reached Shandan Hogg’s funeral procession was winding its way through the streets. He had died the previous day.

Nie Guang Chun, who was 79 when I met him, said: “Ho Ke was gentle, he was kind. We had had other headmasters, all Chinese, who punished us. Ho Ke didn’t do that. He was firm but he became a friend. When we went over the mountains with him, we didn’t really know why. We were too young. But we just followed him. We had never met anyone like him. We never will.”

Extracted from Ocean Devil The Life and Legend of George Hogg by James MacManus, published by Harper Perennial

Saturday, December 13, 2008

11 REASONS WHY WOMEN FIND IT HARD TO FIND THE MAN OF THEIR DREAM.

1. Nice men are ugly. (Lelaki yang baik ko' jelek ya..)

2. Handsome men are not nice. (Lelaki yang ganteng ko' ga baik ya..)

3. Handsome and nice men are gay. (Lelaki yang ganteng dan baik, ko' gay yaa...)

4. Handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married. (Lelaki yang ganteng, baik dan ga gay, ko' udah merit yaaa..)

5. Men who are not so handsome, but nice, have no money. (Lelaki yang nggak terlalu ganteng, tapi baik hati, ko' ga punya uang yaa...)

6. Men who are not so handsome, but nice n with money, think we are only after their money. ( Lelaki yang nggak terlalu ganteng, tapi baik hati dan punya duit, ko mikirnya kita ngejar duitnya..... .)

7. Handsome men without money are after our money. (Lelaki yang ganteng tapi nggak punya uang, ko malah morotin..... )

8. Handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough. ( Lelaki ganteng, yang nggak terlalu baik dan kayaknya ga gay, berpikir kita nggak cukup cantik buat dia......)

9. Men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards. (Lelaki yang berpikir kita itu cantik, dan dia ga gay, sepertinya baik hati dan punya duit, rata-rata pengecut deh)

10. Somewhat handsome man, kinda nice and have some money, and thank God heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!! ( Lelaki yang rada ganteng, kayaknya baik hati dan punya uang, dan ga gay, rata2 pemalu dan ga pernah melakukan pendekatan pertama!!!!! !!)

11.. Men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative. NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN? (Lelaki yang ga pernah melakukan pendekatan pertama, otomatis akan kehilangan ketertarikan kepada kita ketika kita melakukan pendekatan ke dia. Jadinya..., siapa nih yang bener2 ngerti lelaki?)

"Men are like a fine wine.They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."
(Lelaki itu seperti minuman anggur yang baik. Mereka mulai dari buah anggur dan adalah pekerjaan kita, para wanita, untuk menginjak-injaknya dan menyimpan mereka di dalam kegelapan sampai mereka matang dan berubah menjadi sesuatu yang menarik sehingga kita ingin makan malam bersamanya)


Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Attempt More

If you wish to achieve more, then attempt more. Push yourself beyond what you already know you're able to do.

Get out of the rut of going through the same motions and ending up with the same results. Put some additional time, energy, thought and creativity into your actions.

Take on challenges that make you a little bit uncomfortable. Stretch your abilities and watch them grow.

Decide to reach higher and you'll find many new ways to move higher. Raise your expectations and you'll improve your performance.

Keep on learning, keep on growing, and keep on venturing beyond what you already know. Give yourself the gift of increasingly ambitious goals.

Enjoy and appreciate how far you've already come. Then jump back in and make it even better.

-- Ralph Marston

Monday, December 8, 2008

Little Miracles - X'mas Feeling, Holidays' Blues

just watched the "Angel in the Family" again.

One quote finally summarized the whole essence of the movie, not exact one, though. I'll try to make pretty close.
It said: "It's little things that happened in life that will amaze you at the end of life, things that you are usually taken for granted. The REAL miracle is that those things really happened."

I just remembered that it was a wonder that I have made so far and it was a Miracle that I can make it here, but my REAL little MIRACLE is that I have gone through the life with my family in that house and still make it in this world and how much I have learnt in that little world to make it in this big wide world. It's a wonder how my parents can make out so much for me with so little resources and I feel very proud of them, as my parents.
It is still a wonder till today, till now, this second. I will miss them this Xmas and New year.

My little Miracles are not as fancy as others, simple family gathering with home cooked meals in our little dining room in front of TV, but I suddenly realized that what's all I need.

Decisions in Life is made and taken, regrets and pride felt and denied, roads taken the best way anyone can do.
Moods swinging in and out. What's next is everybody's best guess?

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Pieces - Office Politics from the Master.... A Wise Note indeed...

The secret to staying ahead of the games as a telecommuter is simple:

* Do not respond to any gossip emails from subordinates or peers. Pick up the phone so there is no paper trail.

* Respond to your bosses' emails by being noncommittal, or ask for clarification -- copy their boss in the reply.

* Do not send any emails you would not be happy for the whole world to read several times.


Three simple sentences, easy said than done. Especially when it is human nature to respond by curiosity and spurs of moment than wait and see and respond afterthought.

"SLEEP OVER IT" might be a good choice, too, especially when it comes to respond "emotional" emails or any.
Trust me, bad emails are hard to undone than spoken words and give bigger and more dangerous impacts than stationery mails, because it is easier to be distributed around, another spur of the moment thing.


Thursday, November 20, 2008

Savvy Telephone Etiquette by Therese Droste

Monster Contributing Writer

Savvy Telephone Etiquette

Picture a cross between a magician and a linebacker. Calls are coming in, people are trying to get through to your boss. You use a little misdirection, a few stubborn blocking techniques and, voila, you become an effective assistant.

"Your job is to protect your boss -- be a time manager," says Val Williams, a business coach with Professional Coaching and Training in Edison, New Jersey. "And you're an asset by being the traffic cop for persistent people if you know your boss can't be indiscriminately interrupted for calls."

The key to an assistant's job is to be direct and tell the truth, stresses Williams. While it's tough when a caller is persistent, Williams says to think of it as a hockey game. "The persistent caller's goal is to get to your boss," she says. "But you have a goal too, to protect your boss." You need to respect the caller's persistence by recognizing he's merely trying to forward his agenda while simultaneously respecting your own agenda, which is to help prioritize your boss's calls, says Williams.

And that's where many admins snag a toe on the rug. While it's crucial for a boss and her assistant to be in alignment with goals, admins often don't have enough contact with their managers to know their priorities. "If you want to do an excellent job, you must encourage your boss to meet with you for 10 or 15 minutes every morning to touch base," says Williams.

During the meeting, ask your boss to list his most important challenges of the day. "You want to find out the things that are stressing your boss and then find ways to help out," says Williams. This information allows you to be proactive. "At a minimum, it means running guard on unimportant or unplanned phone calls for the boss, as well as finding out which phone calls are super important."

That's a nice concept, but what about the pushy caller who's called four or five times already this week? Be direct, advises Williams. Try something like, "I'm sorry. My boss has been really busy, but I want you to know I've relayed your message."

"Say no more than that," says Williams. "If the person berates you and says he's called four or five times, just state that you passed the message along so the person doesn't conclude that you're blocking access to the boss. You've done your part."

Also, watch your tone of voice, cautions Williams. Use a neutral voice with no charge or tone in it. If you're overly apologetic, you merely validate that this person has been wronged in some way, and that's not useful. "Then the person wants to pull you into alignment with him by agreeing that this isn't right, it shouldn't be happening, and your boss really should call him back," she says.

"A super assistant digs deeper and gets to the root of why someone's even calling," says Williams. If you find out why someone's calling and then provide an answer to the question right away, you avoid spending time dealing with a person's persistent calls down the road.

The other part of the equation is that your boss doesn't look so hot by not returning phone calls. "Talk to your boss and point out that someone's called several times," says Williams. "Offer to call the person back to say whatever it is your boss wants you to." For example, you could call the person back and say the boss isn't available for the next couple of weeks and to call back after that time. Or simply say your boss asked you to return the call and that, based on the business goals, your boss is not interested in the person's line of business. "If someone keeps calling back after that, they're just rude."

"The bottom line is you must be an assertive assistant," says Williams. "Tell the boss you think you can help him out, and ask him how he wants you to handle telephone intruders. Let the boss delegate some responsibility to you and run with it."

How Well Do You Play the Game?

Monster Members Share Their Stories and Advice About Office Politics
by Christine F. Della Monaca
Monster Staff Writer
How Well Do You Play the Game?

When we asked Monster members, "How well do you play the game at work?" the question provoked a range of responses. Many felt their inability to deal with office politics had hurt their careers. Others were baffled by people who got ahead based on looks, knowing the right person or doing the right amount of kissing up -- despite being unqualified for their jobs. And still others had enough confidence in their own political skills to give advice to others.

Check out these stories, rants and advice to strengthen your own game.

The Game's Not for Them

I think you're enforcing "the game" by even mentioning it. There shouldn't be "games" in the workplace. People go to work to produce goods and services.


I will not participate in office politics. I do believe that it is a lot of backstabbing. I feel if you are a snitch, upper management will feel that you will tell something on them as well.


I guess people like me have to learn to be social, not sensitive. It's easier for me to have a good relationship with people like clients, but I feel the relationship within the office is much more difficult to deal with. I'm a hardworking person. Maybe being a contractor or freelancer is more suitable for those not social like me.


I work in child care, where I am the only guy amongst 11 to 12 women. Believe me: I couldn't suck worse in this type of office politics. The gossip alone makes me not want to socialize at all, workwise or casually. I must say that I can talk to a few of my coworkers, but even then I have to pick and choose what I say. The fact that I am the only guy at my center means my coworkers are apprehensive in talking to me about anything. They don't talk to me like they do to each other for fear I may say something they may take offense over, and since my personality is pretty laid-back, I may make certain remarks that can be construed the wrong way.

Paying the Price for Not Playing

Not playing the game got me fired. I was an employee who minded her own business. I saw what no one did and heard what no one spoke. After 19 years of service, they decided to fire me using the excuse that I wasn't up to par with the rest of the people. That's what I got.


After two months of employment, I was approached by the owner, who told me I would be a perfect fit for an open supervisor position. I accepted the challenge and kept a clean record, worked extremely long hours and had no problems, complaints or written warnings of any kind until this year. In another meeting with the company owner, I was instructed to change the way I interacted with my sales rep. I assured him I was doing my best to work with this person, who is difficult, and I would resolve any differences.

Two weeks passed, and my relationship with my sales rep improved dramatically. Last week, I was called into a conference room and discharged from my job. I was not given a chance to say anything -- just let go without being able to defend myself and without any support. I truly loved what I did and believed I would be employed with this company until the day I retired. I did not kiss the butt of the sales rep. I did not support nor would I kiss the butt of my newly appointed manager. I believe that is the reason I was let go. It is very sad to think I gave 110 percent of myself to this job, but because I didn't play by their rules, they found a petty reason to get rid of me.

What Do They Have That I Don't?

I worked for a mortgage company for two years, never missing a day of work and always making my customers happy. Then interest rates went down, and there were layoffs. I was chosen to be let go. Those remaining were Angela, who was 21, wore a size four and had long, flowing blonde hair, and Lois, who was hired because she was a friend of the supervisor at the secondary pricing department. I knew I was let go because I was not friends with the boss or sexy and young. I am 43, wear a size eight and have wrinkles, but I am healthy and intelligent otherwise -- just not sexy and gorgeous. I felt that the men in the office treated Angela and Lois better than me, because I was not young or sexy or a friend of the boss. They often missed work, and I never did. The men appreciated Mary, who always made food at work using her own money and resources. I didn't have a lot of money for things like that. I want to be appreciated for my brains, not my looks or cooking skills, unless of course I work as a cook in a restaurant. I decided to try something other than office work, because I want people at work to like me because I work hard and am good at my job, not because I brownnose or am sexy or young.


After eight years of employment for one of the largest corporate dental manufacturing companies in North America, I was fired! My boss told me I was fired because another employee overheard me saying something sexual about another employee being promoted through the company. Well, I never said it. I was never questioned about the incident -- just escorted out the door. I did not play the political game. The girl who supposedly overheard me and reported me is the same girl I reported to human resources one month prior to my being fired. She was constantly late, took extended lunches, allowed to attend fancy sales banquets, etc. We were both hourly employees, and if I could not do that after eight dedicated years of employment, I was not about to let someone else get away with it after only six months. She set me up after I reported her, and they fired me.

She got away with everything because of her looks, and she was 15 years younger. Everyone would stare at her and let her get away with murder. I found out a month after I was gone that she was pregnant and living with the corporate comptroller -- another reason to get rid of me, because it was against company policy to date and live together, but apparently not for them. Several years ago, I met my husband at the same company. We bought a house together and I got pregnant, and when they found out, they fired my husband immediately. The story sounds similar, but it seems like certain rules are for certain people. It certainly was the worst place I ever worked.

Office Politics Tips from the Masters

I do very well playing the game. The secret to staying ahead of the games as a telecommuter is simple:

  • Do not respond to any gossip emails from subordinates or peers. Pick up the phone so there is no paper trail.

  • Respond to your bosses' emails by being noncommittal, or ask for clarification -- copy their boss in the reply.

  • Do not send any emails you would not be happy for the whole world to read several times.


I am managing a lot better than I used to. I have learned disciplines that give me the ability to work in the corporate office environment. Principles that help me stay afloat are:

  • Remember who I am and don't look for others to validate me.

  • Taking care of myself -- getting enough rest, etc. -- gives me a jump start before coming into the office.

  • Hold on to my inner joy/peace -- give it up for no one!

  • Respect everyone -- no matter if you like them or not.

  • Do not participate in gossip and take sides in cliques (remain neutral).

  • Remember: I am a professional, hired to do a job and remain professional and courteous, regardless of how others behave.

How Well Do You Play the Game?

Monster Members Share Their Stories and Advice About Office Politics
by Christine F. Della Monaca
Monster Staff Writer
How Well Do You Play the Game?

When we asked Monster members, "How well do you play the game at work?" the question provoked a range of responses. Many felt their inability to deal with office politics had hurt their careers. Others were baffled by people who got ahead based on looks, knowing the right person or doing the right amount of kissing up -- despite being unqualified for their jobs. And still others had enough confidence in their own political skills to give advice to others.

Check out these stories, rants and advice to strengthen your own game.

The Game's Not for Them

I think you're enforcing "the game" by even mentioning it. There shouldn't be "games" in the workplace. People go to work to produce goods and services.


I will not participate in office politics. I do believe that it is a lot of backstabbing. I feel if you are a snitch, upper management will feel that you will tell something on them as well.


I guess people like me have to learn to be social, not sensitive. It's easier for me to have a good relationship with people like clients, but I feel the relationship within the office is much more difficult to deal with. I'm a hardworking person. Maybe being a contractor or freelancer is more suitable for those not social like me.


I work in child care, where I am the only guy amongst 11 to 12 women. Believe me: I couldn't suck worse in this type of office politics. The gossip alone makes me not want to socialize at all, workwise or casually. I must say that I can talk to a few of my coworkers, but even then I have to pick and choose what I say. The fact that I am the only guy at my center means my coworkers are apprehensive in talking to me about anything. They don't talk to me like they do to each other for fear I may say something they may take offense over, and since my personality is pretty laid-back, I may make certain remarks that can be construed the wrong way.

Paying the Price for Not Playing

Not playing the game got me fired. I was an employee who minded her own business. I saw what no one did and heard what no one spoke. After 19 years of service, they decided to fire me using the excuse that I wasn't up to par with the rest of the people. That's what I got.


After two months of employment, I was approached by the owner, who told me I would be a perfect fit for an open supervisor position. I accepted the challenge and kept a clean record, worked extremely long hours and had no problems, complaints or written warnings of any kind until this year. In another meeting with the company owner, I was instructed to change the way I interacted with my sales rep. I assured him I was doing my best to work with this person, who is difficult, and I would resolve any differences.

Two weeks passed, and my relationship with my sales rep improved dramatically. Last week, I was called into a conference room and discharged from my job. I was not given a chance to say anything -- just let go without being able to defend myself and without any support. I truly loved what I did and believed I would be employed with this company until the day I retired. I did not kiss the butt of the sales rep. I did not support nor would I kiss the butt of my newly appointed manager. I believe that is the reason I was let go. It is very sad to think I gave 110 percent of myself to this job, but because I didn't play by their rules, they found a petty reason to get rid of me.

What Do They Have That I Don't?

I worked for a mortgage company for two years, never missing a day of work and always making my customers happy. Then interest rates went down, and there were layoffs. I was chosen to be let go. Those remaining were Angela, who was 21, wore a size four and had long, flowing blonde hair, and Lois, who was hired because she was a friend of the supervisor at the secondary pricing department. I knew I was let go because I was not friends with the boss or sexy and young. I am 43, wear a size eight and have wrinkles, but I am healthy and intelligent otherwise -- just not sexy and gorgeous. I felt that the men in the office treated Angela and Lois better than me, because I was not young or sexy or a friend of the boss. They often missed work, and I never did. The men appreciated Mary, who always made food at work using her own money and resources. I didn't have a lot of money for things like that. I want to be appreciated for my brains, not my looks or cooking skills, unless of course I work as a cook in a restaurant. I decided to try something other than office work, because I want people at work to like me because I work hard and am good at my job, not because I brownnose or am sexy or young.


After eight years of employment for one of the largest corporate dental manufacturing companies in North America, I was fired! My boss told me I was fired because another employee overheard me saying something sexual about another employee being promoted through the company. Well, I never said it. I was never questioned about the incident -- just escorted out the door. I did not play the political game. The girl who supposedly overheard me and reported me is the same girl I reported to human resources one month prior to my being fired. She was constantly late, took extended lunches, allowed to attend fancy sales banquets, etc. We were both hourly employees, and if I could not do that after eight dedicated years of employment, I was not about to let someone else get away with it after only six months. She set me up after I reported her, and they fired me.

She got away with everything because of her looks, and she was 15 years younger. Everyone would stare at her and let her get away with murder. I found out a month after I was gone that she was pregnant and living with the corporate comptroller -- another reason to get rid of me, because it was against company policy to date and live together, but apparently not for them. Several years ago, I met my husband at the same company. We bought a house together and I got pregnant, and when they found out, they fired my husband immediately. The story sounds similar, but it seems like certain rules are for certain people. It certainly was the worst place I ever worked.

Office Politics Tips from the Masters

I do very well playing the game. The secret to staying ahead of the games as a telecommuter is simple:

  • Do not respond to any gossip emails from subordinates or peers. Pick up the phone so there is no paper trail.

  • Respond to your bosses' emails by being noncommittal, or ask for clarification -- copy their boss in the reply.

  • Do not send any emails you would not be happy for the whole world to read several times.


I am managing a lot better than I used to. I have learned disciplines that give me the ability to work in the corporate office environment. Principles that help me stay afloat are:

  • Remember who I am and don't look for others to validate me.

  • Taking care of myself -- getting enough rest, etc. -- gives me a jump start before coming into the office.

  • Hold on to my inner joy/peace -- give it up for no one!

  • Respect everyone -- no matter if you like them or not.

  • Do not participate in gossip and take sides in cliques (remain neutral).

  • Remember: I am a professional, hired to do a job and remain professional and courteous, regardless of how others behave.

Seven Ways to Handle Your Dysfunctional Office by Margot Carmichael Lester

Monster Contributing Writer
Seven Ways to Handle Your Dysfunctional Office

Workplace dysfunction may be funny when you’re watching “The Office,” but it’s serious business when you’re trying to cope with it every day.

The good news is that it doesn’t have to bring you down. Nobody says dealing with dysfunction is easy, but if you follow this advice, chances are you can at least stay above the fray:

  • Step Away from the Action: Start looking at your office as though it were any dysfunctional organization from movies or TV. “Sit back as an observer and watch,” suggests Donna Flagg, principal of learning and productivity specialist The Krysalis Group. “Do not participate...because the thing that makes dysfunctional behavior thrive is the participation of dysfunctional people. If you separate yourself, you remain on the ‘functional’ side of the line.”

  • Remain in Control: One way to stay functional is to avoid returning fire -- no matter how under siege you feel. This allows you to control the people trying to control you, says Joel Epstein, author of The Little Book on Big Ego and CEO of Friction Factor. “Most ‘ego monsters’ want you to fight with them,” adds Epstein. “It makes them happy.”

    The solution? Throw the game and lose on purpose. “Let the ego monster think they’ve won,” he advises.

  • Stay Focused: Concentrating on your job performance while others are engaged in less-productive activities can be an effective way of coping and advancing, says Heather Millen, a Boston-based marketing administrator. “Act how you think a professional should act, no matter how enticing it is to come to their level,” she says. “I once had a boss who thought things could only be done his way. But by sticking by what I thought was right rather than giving into his every whim, the working relationship grew stronger, and we each had greater respect for the other.”

  • Tune Out: If you’re in a position to close yourself off from the insanity and negativity, do it, advises Erik Myers, a database administrator. “I wear headphones all day every day so that I don't have to listen to the insipid ramblings of my coworkers and how much they ‘love their fat-free salad dressing’ and ‘have you heard about this new diet where if you eat really spicy foods you can eat all you want, because it goes through your system faster and the heat actually burns calories anyway?’” he says.

  • Enlist Allies: Sometimes it helps to find what career coach Marty Nemko calls “an island of sanity amid the maelstrom.”

    “Find one or two people in the workplace whom you like and can commiserate with, or even laugh at the others' antics,” Nemko says. “Decide among you whether you want it to simply be a steam-letting-off group or want to look for smart ways to improve things, if only in pockets. And keep your group under the radar -- no need for everyone to see you as a clearly identified cabal.”

  • Look for Patterns: Studying -- but not obsessing over -- colleagues’ dysfunctional tendencies can give you an edge, Flagg says. Common patterns are discrepancies between what people say and do and inconsistencies in behavior.

    Sure, this familiarity may breed contempt, but it also yields a competitive advantage for you as well as a coping mechanism. “You can not only anticipate problems headed your way, but you can also use the insight to navigate the terrain in a positive and effective way,” Flagg explains.

  • Leave: In the end, the best outcome may be to move on. “It's really the only thing that actually works,” notes workplace expert Billie Blair, author of All the Moving Parts and president/CEO of Leading and Learning. “Our research of these situations has shown that it's always the good and talented people that the organization loses when there is dysfunction, because they can go other places. Those who can't simply stay and manage to endure.”

Build a Great Working Relationship with Your Boss by Peter Vogt

MonsterTRAK Career Coach

Build a Great Working Relationship with Your Boss

One of the worst things you can do at your new job is to make your supervisor look bad for hiring you. After all, your boss is key to your current on-the-job satisfaction and to your future success in the organization -- and perhaps even beyond.

If there ever were a relationship for you to invest in, this is it. So here are five ways to get off to a great start with your new supervisor. Your efforts now will lay the groundwork for a productive working relationship over the long haul.

Watch and Learn

"The number one thing is to observe the company culture and your supervisor closely during your first few weeks," says Terese Corey Blanck, principal of College to Career, a career-consulting firm in suburban Minneapolis. "Keep your opinions to yourself until you understand the company culture well and know what people will look upon with favor and what they'll look upon with disdain."

Even something as simple as asking intelligent questions will make a difference in how your boss perceives you as an employee. "It's always better to clarify than to charge off and go completely in the wrong direction," Corey Blanck says.

Keep in Touch

Some bosses are very hands-on, keeping close tabs on you throughout your workday. Others may talk to you once a week or less often and send you on your way to do your job.

Whatever your supervisor's style, typically it's up to you to establish and maintain the lines of communication between the two of you. Using either email or the occasional stop-by-the-office visit, make sure you keep your boss informed with the answers to these questions:

  • What are you working on?

  • What have you finished, and what are the results?

  • What can you help your supervisor with?

Look and Act Professional

Allison Hemming, author of Work It! How to Get Ahead, Save Your Ass, and Land a Job in Any Economy and founder of The Hired Guns, a Manhattan-based interim workforce agency, talks about a candidate she recently placed with a major investment bank -- quite easily, thanks to the candidate's background and skills.

"Two weeks into the job, we got a call from her manager, saying that she was doing a terrific job, but that she sometimes dressed inappropriately, in short, short skirts and open-toed shoes," says Hemming. "The manager asked me to have a chat with the person, because they really liked her and didn't want her attire to impact her ability to get promoted in the future."

The new hire was a bit shocked to discover her fashion faux pas were damaging her relationships with her supervisor and colleagues, but she quickly made the necessary changes to her wardrobe, Hemming says.

Demonstrate Initiative

Any new employee can sit around waiting to be told what to do. Why not be proactive enough to figure it out yourself so your supervisor doesn't constantly have to hold your hand?

"Take initiative to get something done when you see it needs getting done," says Corey Blanck. "It can be something as simple as taking a stack of files and going through them before you're asked -- anything to show that you're not beneath the small tasks that take up everyone's time."

"Come in early and stay late," says Stephen Viscusi, author of On the Job: How to Make It in the Real World of Work and a frequent workplace contributor on ABC's "Good Morning America." "You should be busy whenever you're starting a new job, learning the ropes, but even when you're not, perfect the art of looking busy."

Do Great Work

This might seem like painfully obvious advice for developing a solid relationship with your new boss, but it bears repeating. "Make your boss look good by, guess what -- just plain working hard," says Viscusi. "It's old-fashioned, but it really works."


Build a Great Working Relationship with Your Boss by Peter Vogt

MonsterTRAK Career Coach

Build a Great Working Relationship with Your Boss

One of the worst things you can do at your new job is to make your supervisor look bad for hiring you. After all, your boss is key to your current on-the-job satisfaction and to your future success in the organization -- and perhaps even beyond.

If there ever were a relationship for you to invest in, this is it. So here are five ways to get off to a great start with your new supervisor. Your efforts now will lay the groundwork for a productive working relationship over the long haul.

Watch and Learn

"The number one thing is to observe the company culture and your supervisor closely during your first few weeks," says Terese Corey Blanck, principal of College to Career, a career-consulting firm in suburban Minneapolis. "Keep your opinions to yourself until you understand the company culture well and know what people will look upon with favor and what they'll look upon with disdain."

Even something as simple as asking intelligent questions will make a difference in how your boss perceives you as an employee. "It's always better to clarify than to charge off and go completely in the wrong direction," Corey Blanck says.

Keep in Touch

Some bosses are very hands-on, keeping close tabs on you throughout your workday. Others may talk to you once a week or less often and send you on your way to do your job.

Whatever your supervisor's style, typically it's up to you to establish and maintain the lines of communication between the two of you. Using either email or the occasional stop-by-the-office visit, make sure you keep your boss informed with the answers to these questions:

  • What are you working on?

  • What have you finished, and what are the results?

  • What can you help your supervisor with?

Look and Act Professional

Allison Hemming, author of Work It! How to Get Ahead, Save Your Ass, and Land a Job in Any Economy and founder of The Hired Guns, a Manhattan-based interim workforce agency, talks about a candidate she recently placed with a major investment bank -- quite easily, thanks to the candidate's background and skills.

"Two weeks into the job, we got a call from her manager, saying that she was doing a terrific job, but that she sometimes dressed inappropriately, in short, short skirts and open-toed shoes," says Hemming. "The manager asked me to have a chat with the person, because they really liked her and didn't want her attire to impact her ability to get promoted in the future."

The new hire was a bit shocked to discover her fashion faux pas were damaging her relationships with her supervisor and colleagues, but she quickly made the necessary changes to her wardrobe, Hemming says.

Demonstrate Initiative

Any new employee can sit around waiting to be told what to do. Why not be proactive enough to figure it out yourself so your supervisor doesn't constantly have to hold your hand?

"Take initiative to get something done when you see it needs getting done," says Corey Blanck. "It can be something as simple as taking a stack of files and going through them before you're asked -- anything to show that you're not beneath the small tasks that take up everyone's time."

"Come in early and stay late," says Stephen Viscusi, author of On the Job: How to Make It in the Real World of Work and a frequent workplace contributor on ABC's "Good Morning America." "You should be busy whenever you're starting a new job, learning the ropes, but even when you're not, perfect the art of looking busy."

Do Great Work

This might seem like painfully obvious advice for developing a solid relationship with your new boss, but it bears repeating. "Make your boss look good by, guess what -- just plain working hard," says Viscusi. "It's old-fashioned, but it really works."


Handle a Sabotaging Coworker by Beverly West

Monster Contributing Writer

Handle a Sabotaging Coworker

We all like to think of our coworkers as friends, but what happens when you become the target of a coworker's dirty politics? Here are some strategies that can help you keep the peace without losing your edge, shared by fellow soldiers on the office wars' front lines.

Take Precautions

It is wise to have some good measures in place to protect yourself if you ever fall under a colleague's attack.

"Always have backup for everything you've done in case a coworker tries to place blame on you," says Aubyn Peterson, an administrative assistant for the Miss USA Pageant. For instance, save all emails with pertinent ideas you contributed and work you've done. "This way, you can be prepared to answer any difficult questions from your boss confidently, and it won't just be your word against somebody else's," she says. "You'll have written proof."

It's also important to remember the old adage about squeaky wheels getting the grease. "If you feel that a coworker is trying to oust you out of a well-deserved promotion, then do your job exceedingly well and make some noise," says Peterson. "Make sure your boss notices your excellent performance, and make doubly sure that your boss knows that you want to be promoted."

Rise Above the Drama of Coworker Sabotage

If you can, don't let your coworker's anger or frustration get to you. You don't have to play a major role in somebody else's drama, and your coworker's hostility doesn't have to undermine your positive self-image or job performance.

"My first instincts are to resort to a voodoo doll, a stapler or a tube of Super Glue, but I fight those urges and try to remain calm and peaceful," says Richard Ogawa, a sales and special events assistant for Broadway On and Off, a group ticket sales organization.

"I just avoid the situation," Ogawa says. "I don't give the person the time of day. I don't get upset. I'm not mean, and I try to feel sorry for him for being in a state of mind that triggers him to create drama to make himself feel better."

Laugh, If Possible

Try to find the humor, if any, in the situation. Ogawa has a few tricks he plays on himself to generate a little comic relief and defuse the tension. For instance, "whenever you want to yell ‘idiot,' yell ‘you superstar' inside," Ogawa suggests.

Try to Communicate

There are times, though, when avoidance and humor won't work, and you have no choice but to address the situation. "If it comes down to having to confront the coworker, try and approach the situation with logic, not emotion," says Peterson, who stresses that it is important for you to honestly make an effort to communicate with your coworker and try to see where he is coming from.

Friday, November 14, 2008

A Blog Posted by Singapore 's Youngest Millionaire by Adam Khoo

Some of you may already know that I travel around the region pretty frequently, having to visit and conduct seminars at my offices in Malaysia , Indonesia , Thailand and Suzhou ( China ). I am in the airport almost every other week so I get to bump into many people who have attended my seminars or have read my books.

Recently, someone came up to me on a plane to KL and looked rather shocked. He asked, 'How come a millionaire like you is travelling economy?' My reply was, 'That's why I am a millionaire.' He still looked pretty confused. This again confirms that greatest lie ever told about wealth (which I wrote about in my latest book 'Secrets of Self Made Millionaires'). Many people have been brainwashed to think that millionaires have to wear Gucci, Hugo Boss, Rolex, and sit on first class in air travel. This is why so many people never become rich because the moment that earn more money, they think that it is only natural that they spend more, putting them back to square one.

The truth is that most self-made millionaires are frugal and only spend on what is necessary and of value. That is why they are able to accumulate and multiply their wealth so much faster. Over the last 7 years, I have saved about 80% of my income while today I save only about 60% (because I have my wife, mother in law, 2 maids, 2 kids, etc. to support). Still, it is way above most people who save 10% of their income (if they are lucky). I refuse to buy a first class ticket or to buy a $300 shirt because I think that it is a complete waste of money. However, I happily pay $1,300 to send my 2-year old daughter to Julia Gabriel Speech and Drama without thinking twice.

When I joined the YEO (Young Entrepreneur's Organization) a few years back (YEO is an exclusive club open to those who are under 40 and make over $1m a year in their own business) I discovered that those who were self-made thought like me. Many of them with net worths well over $5m, travelled economy class and some even drove Toyota 's and Nissans (not Audis, Mercs, BMWs).

I noticed that it was only those who never had to work hard to build their own wealth (there were also a few ministers' and tycoons' sons in the club) who spent like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, when you did not have to build everything from scratch, you do not really value money. This is precisely the reason why a family's wealth (no matter how much) rarely lasts past the third generation. Thank God my rich dad (oh no! I sound like Kiyosaki) foresaw this terrible possibility and refused to give me a cent to start my business.

Then some people ask me, 'What is the point in making so much money if you don't enjoy it?' The thing is that I don't really find happiness in buying branded clothes, jewellery or sitting first class. Even if buying something makes me happy it is only for a while, it does not last. Material happiness never lasts, it just give you a quick fix. After a while you feel lousy again and have to buy the next thing which you think will make you happy. I always think that if you need material things to make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life.

Instead, what makes ME happy is when I see my children laughing and playing and learning so fast. What makes me happy is when I see by companies and trainers reaching more and more people every year in so many more countries. What makes me really happy is when I read all the emails about how my books and seminars have touched and inspired someone's life. What makes me really happy is reading all your wonderful posts about how this BLOG is inspiring you. This happiness makes me feel really good for a long time, much much more than what a Rolex would do for me.

I think the point I want to put across is that happiness must come from doing your life's work (be in teaching, building homes, designing, trading, winning tournaments etc.) and the money that comes is only a by-product. If you hate what you are doing and rely on the money you earn to make you happy by buying stuff, then I think that you are living a life of meaningless

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

UNDERSTANDING

I understand when you stepped back
Cos I 'm too strong and too naive
I understand when you walked away
Cos I'm too good to be true for you

I won't blame you
I won't be sad more
Cos too many thing I should understand

I'm an angle bird in the flame
I was't born for you

Its time to say good bye
Its paid with my understanding
For now and for tomorrow

NN

Sunday, November 9, 2008

"Re-evaluating priorities and risks. Hoping it's not too late to put things in order and motion. Setting worries and anxieties aside. Crossing fingers and praying that everything will go on well and smoothly."

Above quote may seem remote and irrelevant now, but trust me, there are times when this quote is making more sense than now. Feeling desperate, lost of hope, burdened, full of stress and many other nerve-breaking syndrom are not best choices of feeling to be experienced. Those feelings always manage to create a wormhole or black hole or just a mass of empty void inside of you or surrounding you.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Difference between men and women

A Woman marries a man expecting that he will change but he doesn't
A Man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does

Friday, November 7, 2008

Blessing Graces to The Lord, Jesus Christ

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Bapa Surgawi

Terima Kasih untuk semua anugerah-Mu
dalam kehidupanku
Terima kasih untuk kasih-Mu yang tanpa batas bagiku,
keluargaku dan orang orang di sekitarku.
Terima Kasih menjadikan aku sebagai
alasan Engkau memberkati lingkunganku,
pekerjaanku dan komunitasku.

Semua kutukan nenek moyangku, kedua orangtuaku ,
keluargaku dan aku sendiri,
aku patahkan dalam KUASAMU.
Segala sakit penyakit dalam tubuhku dan
keluargaku telah ENGKAU
sembuhkan oleh bilur bilur-Mu.
Tahirkan lidah, mulut dan bibirku
sehingga hanya kata kata berkat dan Firman-Mu saja yang bisa aku katakan
Tahirkan mataku sehingga hanya hal hal yang daripadaMu saja yang aku lihat,
untuk pertumbuhan imanku
Tahirkan telingaku sehingga hanya kebenaranMu yang
aku dengar dan perdengarkan
Berkatilah aku, pasangan hidupku,
anak-anakku, semua keluargaku,
rumahku, pekerjaanku serta
teman2ku. Jadikanlah kami perpanjangan hati
dan tanganMU.
Terima Kasih Bapa untuk semuanya
Dalam nama TUHAN YESUS aku
berdoa.
AMIN....

Monday, October 27, 2008

Balance Sheet of Life


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Our Birth is our Opening Balance!

Our Death is our Closing Balance!

Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities

Our Creative Ideas are our Assets

Heart is our Current Asset

Soul is our Fixed Asset

Brain is our Fixed Deposit

Thinking is our Current Account

Achievements are our Capital

Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade

Friends are our General Reserves

Values & Behaviour are our Goodwill

Patience is our Interest Earned

Love is our Dividend

Children are our Bonus Issues

Education is Brands / Patents

Knowledge is our Investment

Experience is our Premium Account

The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.

The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award.




Some very Good and Very bad things ...


The most destructive habit....... ......... ......Worry

The greatest Joy......... ......... ......... ....Giving

The greatest loss.......Loss of self-respect

The most satisfying work........ .......Helping others

The ugliest personality trait....... ......Selfishness

The most endangered species..... ....Dedicated leaders

Our greatest natural resource.... ......... ..Our youth

The greatest 'shot in the arm'........ ..Encouragement

The greatest problem to overcome.... ......... ....Fear

The most effective sleeping pill........ Peace of mind

The most crippling failure disease..... .......Excuses

The most powerful force in life........ ......... ..Love

The most dangerous pariah...... .. A gossip

The world's most incredible computer.... ....The brain

The worst thing to be without..... ......... ..... Hope

The deadliest weapon...... ......... ........The tongue

The two most power-filled words....... ......... 'I Can'

The greatest asset....... ......... ......... ......Faith

The most worthless emotion..... ......... ....Self- pity

The most beautiful attire...... ......... .......SMILE!

The most prized possession.. ......... .....Integrity

The most powerful channel of communication. ....Prayer

The most contagious spirit...... ......... ...Enthusiasm

The most important thing in life........ ......... .GOD

Sunday, October 26, 2008

People Come Into Your Life for a Reason



People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.



Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.!



LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.



Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.


CoLoUrS of FriendShip


Di suatu masa warna-warna dunia mulai bertengkar
Semua menganggap dirinyalah yang terbaik
yang paling penting
yang paling bermanfaat
yang paling disukai

HIJAU berkata:"Jelas akulah yang terpenting.
Aku adalah pertanda kehidupan dan harapan.
Aku dipilih untuk mewarnai rerumputan, pepohonan dan dedaunan.
Tanpa aku, semua hewan akan mati.
Lihatlah ke pedesaan, aku adalah warna mayoritas ...."

BIRU menginterupsi :

"Kamu hanya berpikir tentang bumi,
pertimbangkanlah langit dan samudra luas.
Airlah yang menjadi dasar kehidupan dan
awan mengambil kekuatan dari kedalaman lautan.
Langit memberikan ruang dan kedamaian dan ketenangan.
Tanpa kedamaian, kamu semua tidak akan menjadi apa-apa"

KUNING cekikikan :
"Kalian semua serius amat sih?
Aku membawa tawa, kesenangan dan kehangatan bagi dunia.
Matahari berwarna kuning, dan bintang-bintang berwarna kuning.
Setiap kali kau melihat bunga matahari, seluruh dunia mulai tersenyum.
Tanpa aku, dunia tidak ada kesenangan."


ORANYE menyusul dengan meniupkan trompetnya :
"Aku adalah warna kesehatan dan kekuatan.
Aku jarang, tetapi aku berharga karena aku mengisi kebutuhan kehidupan manusia.
Aku membawa vitamin-vitamin terpenting. Pikirkanlah wortel, labu, jeruk, mangga dan pepaya.
Aku tidak ada dimana-mana setiap saat,
tetapi aku mengisi lazuardi saat fajar atau saat matahari terbenam.
Keindahanku begitu menakjubkan hingga tak seorangpun dari kalian
akan terbetik di pikiran orang."

MERAH tidak bisa diam lebih lama dan berteriak :
"Aku adalah Pemimpin kalian. Aku adalah darah - darah keh id upan!
Aku adalah warna bahaya dan keberanian.
Aku berani untuk bertempur demi suatu kuasa.
Aku membawa api ke dalam darah.
Tanpa aku, bumi akan kosong laksana bulan.
Aku adalah warna hasrat dan cinta, mawar merah, poinsentia dan bunga poppy."

UNGU bangkit dan berdiri setinggi-tingginya ia mampu :
Ia memang tinggi dan berbicara dengan keangkuhan.
"Aku adalah warna kerajaan dan kekuasaan.
Raja, Pemimpin dan para

Uskup memilih aku sebagai pertanda otoritas dan kebijaksanaan.
Tidak seorangpun menentangku. Mereka mendengarkan dan menuruti kehendakku."

Akhirnya NILA berbicara
lebih pelan dari yang
lainnya, namun dengan kekuatan niat yang sama :
"Pikirkanlah tentang aku. Aku warna diam.
Kalian jarang memperhatikan ada aku, namun tanpaku kalian semua menjadi dangkal.
Aku merepresentasikan pemikiran dan refleksi, matahari terbenam dan kedalaman laut.
Kalian membutuhkan aku untuk keseimbangan dan kontras, untuk doa dan ketentraman batin."

Jadi, semua warna terus menyombongkan diri,
masing-masing yakin akan superioritas dirinya.
Perdebatan mereka menjadi semakin keras.
Tiba-tiba, sinar halilitar melintas membutakan.
Guruh menggelegar.
Hujan mulai turun tanpa ampun.
Warna-warna bersedeku
bersama ketakutan, berdekatan satu sama lain mencari ketenangan.

18fdfa.jpg

Di tengah suara gemuruh, hujan berbicara :
"WARNA-WARNA TOLOL, kalian bertengkar satu sama lain,
masing-masing ingin mendominasi yang lain. T id akkah kalian
tahu bahwa kalian masing-masing diciptakan untuk tujuan khusus,
unik dan berbeda?
Berpegangan tanganlah dan mendekatlah kepadaku!"
Menuruti perintah, warna-warna berpegangan tangan mendekati
hujan, yang kemudian berkata :

"Mulai sekarang, setiap kali hujan mengguyur,
masing-masing dari kalian akan membusurkan diri sepanjang langit bagai
busur warna sebagai pengingat bahwa kalian semua dapat hidup bersama dalam kedamaian.



Pelangi adalah pertanda Harapan hari esok."
Jadi, setiap kali HUJAN deras menotok membasahi dunia, dan saat
Pelangi memunculkan diri di angkasa marilah kita
MENGINGAT untuk selalu
MENGHARGAI satu sama lain.
MASING-MASING KITA MEMPUNYAI SESUATU YANG UNIK
KITA SEMUA DIBERIKAN KELEBIHAN UNTUK MEMBUAT PERUBAHAN DI DUNIA
DAN SAAT KITA MENYADARI PEMBERIAN ITU, LEWAT KEKUATAN VISI KITA,
KITA MEMPEROLEH KEMAMPUAN UNTUK MEMBENTUK MASA DEPAN ....


Persahabatan itu bagaikan pelangi :
Merah bagaikan buah apel, terasa manis di dalamnya.
Jingga bagaikan kobaran api yang tak akan pernah padam.
Kuning bagaikan mentari yang menyinari hari-hari kita.
Hijau bagaikan tanaman yang tumbuh subur.
Biru bagaikan air jernih alami.
Ungu bagaikan kuntum bunga yang merekah.
Nila-lembayung bagaikan mimpi-mimpi yang mengisi kalbu.